Keep Breathing
In my classroom, as we come in to the hallway from the playground, I stop my entire class. We take three deep breaths, and as we exhale it is very dramatic and loud. Then we walk slowly and quietly to our classroom to get ready for lunch. This whole routine breathing gives everyone a chance to leave our loud silly voices and abundant energy outside and come settle down for lunch and rest time.
This week has been bad. I have been fighting eating disorder thoughts and lies in my head harder than I feel like I have energy for. I have been worried about a friend, grieving a death, and nursing a broken heart. Instead of being proactive I spent many a day wallowing. I believed the lies. I gave in to thoughts and I stopped caring. But it’s amazing what a few deep breaths can do!
Last night I decided there would be no more wallowing. I was claiming my life again. No more eating disorder thoughts- no more tears- no more laying on my couch sleeping my days away! So, I woke up this morning and I went to Starbucks. When I walked in I took three deep breaths and a smile crept across my face…first slowly, then pretty soon I was beaming and taking in every sight and smell! The RED CHRISTMAS CUPS had arrived!!! My desire for peppermint mocha had taken over my entire being. And as I took the first sip I wanted to wish everyone a Merry Christmas! FINALLY Aubrey was back!
I need to keep breathing. The past few weeks don’t mean I am falling apart. They don’t mean that I am destined for a life of disappointment. They simply mean that I need to rely on the only constant, and that is Jesus. I am thankful for this holiday season to remind us that baby Jesus is and always will be our perfect, amazing, never changing Savior.
Tags: anorexia, Aubrey Strobel, binge eating, bulimia, diet, eating disorder, Inspiration!, recovery, support
May 4th, 2010 at 6:27 pm
Do you know of any forums about this stuff?